‘My partner convinced me to go on a European trip designed around trains over 16 days’

Moneer: D-Day for me. Slow travel? It wasn’t even on my radar.
As a guy who spends most of his working hours selling suits in a basement with limited time on holiday, I like to travel using the fastest modes of transport available. My partner, however, is an avid slow travelling evangelist, and, somehow, she has convinced me to go on a trip designed all around trains.
The journey? London-Paris-Marseille-Hyères-Genova-Bologna-Venice spread over 16 days.
Phoebe: We are sitting in departures awaiting the Eurostar and, to my shock and horror, have learnt that it is delayed. I am very aware that every delay or inconvenience will be carefully registered by himself (currently sat beside me and also writing furiously). Aside from this, it’s been a delight – checked in one hour before with no annoying liquid bags or 100ml requirements to contend with.
To move on to more important things however, I cannot believe the size of this lad’s suitcase. I’ve seen London flats that are smaller.
Moneer: 7.20pm. All aboard – 55 minutes late. Phoebe can’t keep her eyes away from the view of motorways and empty fields, reassuring me that the views are “absolutely the best ever”.
Phoebe: We eventually arrive in Paris and make our way to our hotel and beds via the metro system. He was angling for a taxi, but I was not keen. Classically, we seemed to be met by every flight of step possible – greeted each time by some colourful language by himself.
Phoebe: A longer time in bed compared to our last travel day and very welcome it was.
Wandering around Marseille after our early start and negligible hours of sleep had us like two flat tyres. Himself was about to throw me into a fish stew and serve me up to the seagulls when I suggested a “wander around the cool arty district” (Le Panier).
But now, here we are on board our regional train to Hyères. It is double-decker and departed with a Germanic level of efficiency. The only thing it may have struggled with was fitting himself’s monstrosity of a bag, but c’est la vie.
Moneer: A pleasant start to the day. Not too early. Our train was scheduled for 10.07am and guess what? Arrived bang on time. I’m starting to think I was a bit harsh on the Eurostar.
Moneer: This is the part of our journey which I was probably least looking forward to.
Our journey and departure times are as follows:
Hyères-Toulon: 6.03am
Toulon-Nice ville: 6.43am
Nice-Ventimiglia: 8.50am
Ventimiglia-Genoa: 9.57am
Yes you read that right. 6am. A very early start all in the name of slow travel.
Phoebe: It is not yet 10am and we are on train number four, finally heading directly to Genoa. This morning we left the sleeping town of Hyères in darkness, presumably to awake to another sunny day. This is the only section of the journey that I am vaguely alert for, snoozing my way through most of the trains so far and waking up at intervals to sneak peeks of craggy cliffs, bobbing yachts and blue seas.
Moneer: Now Genoa [Genova in Italian] is a city that took me by surprise. It invented pesto as well as streets that are so narrow you could shake hands with your neighbour. It definitely wouldn’t pass health and safety nowadays.
Phoebe: Strictly speaking, this journey did not in fact begin in Genoa, but in Vernazza, one of the villages of the Cinque Terre.
After two nights in Genoa, where we primarily ate focaccia, explored its labyrinthine old town and ogled an unexploded second World War bomb in a medieval church (Cattedrale di San Lorenzo), we caught a train to Monterosso and from there hiked to Vernazza.
We’re now staring at a departures board, which has just announced our Milan train is delayed – meaning a certain miss of the next train to himself’s beloved Bologna.
Moneer: I must congratulate my co-host for her quick thinking. Overhearing an announcement for a different and earlier train to Milan, we quickly hotfoot it to the new platform, get on board, my bag the size of a 12-year-old and sigh. Relief. We’re heading to Milan and won’t miss our train connection.
Phoebe: About half an hour into our journey, himself suggests that we “double check” what station in Milan this train is going to. Lo and behold, we are chugging our way towards an entirely different station to the one our next train will depart from. After a frantic Googling session to determine a) if this train would also stop at Milano Rogoredo (no), b) if Milano Centrale and Milano Rogoredo are close (no) and c) if we could travel easily from one to the other and arrive in time for our train (also no).
Moneer: My co-host is willing to risk it all. I, on the other hand, am not. I persuade her that booking new tickets is the best option we have. You see, I took out travel insurance for these situations, so we were covered on all ends.
Phoebe: Luckily, himself had organised travel insurance before this trip. At the time, I had dismissed this as an “unnecessary” and “overly cautious” expense. I am now eating my words.
Moneer: Five minutes later, we pull into Milan Central and get on a breed of train I haven’t sat on in a very long time: The “Frecciarossa”. Whizzing past the Italian countryside at a speed of 298kph, I could have happily stayed on board for another couple of hours. But then we would’ve ended up in Bari and missed my favourite city.
Phoebe: We are sitting on the swishiest train I have ever had the pleasure of riding on.
We booked ourselves on to business class as there had been no difference in price way back when we booked all the tickets. Once again, a level of organisation that I am not used to, but am quickly learning has serious advantages. I could practically do cartwheels down the carriage if I was so inclined.
Moneer: We are fast approaching Venice, our final destination on our slow travel journey.
My verdict? Was this slowed down holiday worth it, even for someone with limited time wanting a relaxing holiday without the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life?
Well, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this . . . Yes. It is 100 per cent worth it.
When travelling around Italy and France, their train systems are some of the best in the world. Generally, they’re bang on time, and there are so many links to little towns, villages, and cities cross-country that it certainly beats flying.
Be prepared for delays or missed trains because that’s just how slow travelling works.
It never really goes to plan.
Phoebe: I’ve always loved slow travel and, as expected, this trip was no exception. Still, it was full of firsts – the Eurostar, first-class trains and extra-large baggage to name some.
Go solo and enjoy the company of delicious views or bring an unwilling partner and feel the thrill of luring them over to the dark side. Either way, it will be an adventure and the journey will always be part of the destination.
One plane was caught in the making of this article: Our flight home.
Because sometimes, even in the name of conscious travel, reality bites and homeward bound it must be for work the next day.